Hyacinth Speaks
Having dealt with my insipid sister Catherine for a time and a time I next turned my attention to Stephanie and her fluffy little cat, too.
Stephanie was easy. I teased her by supplying a copy of Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars in her Christmas bounty, a long-awaited and desired conclusion to a cliffhanger ending in the series almost worthy of myself. Though my patience was tested sorely by her inability to play it at that woman's home in Hastings, I was rewarded by following Little Stephanie to her domicile perched precariously on a hill in earthquake country, in Tara's Big Harbour. Using my arts of persuasion, I maneuvred the girl into playing her beloved new DVD. All was well, or so she thought, the cliff-hanger was resolved, events of import and magnitude were proceeding nicely in her visual story until-
Yes, until.
Until the the story ended on a cliffhanger with the credits rolling.
O my, you should have seen her howl. I wouldn't recommend listening to her howl, for that noise tested even my superior aural faculties.
Alas, in time it was revealed that the DVD was not a movie (as she had anticipated), but a packaging of a two part episode. My disappointment that she would see the last of her precious Farscape was ameliorated by the knowledge that the girl had made a mockery of herself for no good reason at all. The best defeats are those that the victims make themselves. A he. A hehehehe. Hee hee.
And the cat? The cat that has plumped around my sister's house in smug delight that she has a person for company again? Little does that cat (the dear cat) know that soon, soon Stephanie must dash away, dash to Tamaki of a Hundred Lovers and leave her institutionalised. Well do I know the horrors of such a place.
It has been a very merry Christmas.
Aheh.
Aheeeeehabwahaahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...
Stephanie was easy. I teased her by supplying a copy of Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars in her Christmas bounty, a long-awaited and desired conclusion to a cliffhanger ending in the series almost worthy of myself. Though my patience was tested sorely by her inability to play it at that woman's home in Hastings, I was rewarded by following Little Stephanie to her domicile perched precariously on a hill in earthquake country, in Tara's Big Harbour. Using my arts of persuasion, I maneuvred the girl into playing her beloved new DVD. All was well, or so she thought, the cliff-hanger was resolved, events of import and magnitude were proceeding nicely in her visual story until-
Yes, until.
Until the the story ended on a cliffhanger with the credits rolling.
O my, you should have seen her howl. I wouldn't recommend listening to her howl, for that noise tested even my superior aural faculties.
Alas, in time it was revealed that the DVD was not a movie (as she had anticipated), but a packaging of a two part episode. My disappointment that she would see the last of her precious Farscape was ameliorated by the knowledge that the girl had made a mockery of herself for no good reason at all. The best defeats are those that the victims make themselves. A he. A hehehehe. Hee hee.
And the cat? The cat that has plumped around my sister's house in smug delight that she has a person for company again? Little does that cat (the dear cat) know that soon, soon Stephanie must dash away, dash to Tamaki of a Hundred Lovers and leave her institutionalised. Well do I know the horrors of such a place.
It has been a very merry Christmas.
Aheh.
Aheeeeehabwahaahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...
posted by theamazingcatherine | 2:58 pm
9 Comments:
You stay away from my cat, Hyacinth. Mess with me, but you leave her alone. I really mean this.
S.
My dear, you mean a lot of things.
That's all I'm saying.
And I made her watch the pilot of Buck Rogers in the 25th Century!!!
Bwah ha ha ha hah...
So I'm glad evil seems to only multiply exponentially according to how many beings it looks like.
I have an evil twin. I think everyone does. But when it comes to degrees of evillitude, it's diet coke compared to Hyacinth. All hail Hyacinth!
Snork. We should get her reading the Kushiel set. Aside from the evillitude inherent in the series, there's a character called Hyacinthe in there. And he's male...
Well, but Hyacinthe was a very _pretty_ male. Yeah, I know it started off as a boy's name, which possibly explains my evilest triplet's, mmm, somewhat confused nature.
Phew. I have just recovered from a trip to Wellington. I spent the trip there bound and gagged inside Hyacinth's travel bag in the suitcase compartment. It's amazing what goes on in there, I just can't tell you!
Then I got shoved down into Stephanie's cellar and forced into sweatshop labour at a handcranked sewing machine so she could periodically take it away and display it as her own flawless manufacture. Ha, bloody ha!
Then on the way home she tricked me onto a bos that rambled along on back roads and stopped at every. single. bus stop to pick up extra passengers *shudder*.
It's not just me that's suffering, though, I hear she's arranged for Steph's cat to get fumigated. Better her than I, is all I can say. Better her than I.
I really don't know where the Big H is right now. She might have flown to Auckland on her broomstick to brew storms and havoc there...
Dear Hyacinth,
I just want you to know that not only was Babe extremely relaxed and happy about her visit to the cattery (even going so far as to doze off while we were in the waiting room) but the nice people there are only too happy to lavish care and attention upon her. As I left, they were discussing which of their wide range of delicacies would best tempt her appetite and preparing a 5-star room for her. So there.
S.
They're going to fumigate her. Nothing more need be said.
You are the only person I know who actually likes having fleas. (I think she eats them.)
S.
I don't eat my pets!
You take that back or I'll make you suffer.
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