I Wanna Go Hoooooommmmeeee!!!

Sorry, just seized with a bout of homesickness. It'll be two more weeks, I think, then I can bother my flatmates again...

To honour the title, here's something I wrote a couple of years back, just for you lot:

The Classicist's Complaining Song

It's cold and it's wet and I don't like it
Oh I wanna go home
It's cold and it's wet
And I am fairly wrecked
Oh please take me home

Janus got it right my friends
Sitting by his fire
Old year to the new year tends
Toasting both his frosty ends
Watching sparks fly higher

It's cold and it's wet...

Her husband is a shady lout
Daffodils are yellow
She sits all the winter out
I'll be bound she's drinking stout
And is a merry fellow

It's cold and it's wet...

In hell the wicked are confined
To cease from doing harm
A river does Tantalus bind
Sisyphus in daily grind
At least they're bloody warm!

It's cold and it's wet and I don't like it
Oh I wanna go home
It's cold and it's wet
And I am fairly wrecked
Oh please take me home

Three guesses who the protagonist in the second verse is? Actually, I don't think the Classical version of hell is particularly warm. Oh well, please forgive a bit of syncretism in a doggerel song.

It even has a tune, but it's a bit rough and ready. ;-)

UPDATE:

My mum's best friend Moira, a nurse and grandma back from a sojourn in Australia, came over for dinner and traded jokes with Mum and John. I had to cover my ears. She also wanted to know if my flatmates were gay or straight, and how I came by my conclusion. Modesty forbids me explaining what it was here...